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When being in control is out of control

It happened two years into my coaching, I wasn't that pleased with anything from my personal life, to the business website to my income. What was to subsequently occur was one of my better forty something moments. There was a light bulb moment of realization that business not unlike life shouldn't be controlled because there is no growth or satisfaction when one is too rigid and trying to do it all.

Looking at the life perspective was relatively easy; I just started to let go of what wasn't important. The key was not to take big things vs. little things view point. This can actually be a time when some of the small things in life are exactly what you should be concentrating on. If folding the laundry has become an issue vs. time with the kids, I will pass along something I once heard on Oprah, "years from now your children's memories will not be of the linen closet with the perfectly folded color coordinated towels".

The professional perspective was more multi-leveled; I had to take each business component and look at what was wrong. It didn't take me long to realize that there were a lot of common denominators.

  1. I didn't trust my professional experience.
  2. I hadn't followed my instincts.
  3. I was trying to do too much myself.
  4. It was all too much company and not enough of the individuality which makes us unique and stand out from the crowd.
  5. All the advice and research had their place but I needed to translate that into what are right for me and my business.

Based on the above when I stopped over-analyzing, trusted myself more and just generally let go, my website became an online magazine that in itself has opened so many unexpected doors. My clientele niche became more defined and which allowed for practice growth. I also started to gather a team, so that I have the time to concentrate on what I do best and yes, increased income.

I recommend that you too, step back and look at your personal and professional life. If your schedule, stress level and need to control everything are getting out of hand it is time to look at how to let go. Start by creating a support team one person at a time:

  1. Evaluate needs for home and work
    Here are a few of the helpful services that you can consider:

    Home Team: House cleaner, baby sitter/nanny, dog walker, home meal service, garden maintenance

    Business Team: Web designer, virtual assistant, graphic designer, copy writer

    Combine Personal/Professional Team: Life & Business Coach, professional organizer, accountant, event planner

    Cautionary Note: Don't hire friends, the emotional connection will complicate the working relationship instead of alleviating your work load.

  2. Interview
    For any position meet with a minimum of 3 candidates.
  3. Lay the groundwork
    Know what you want the person to do and give them a written list of their duties. Also be clear from the very beginning regarding your house rules or expected business ethics and conduct.
  4. How to make it work
    Maintain a professional relationship; don't involve them in areas outside of why you hired them. If there is a problem with their work discuss without delay.

Remember your business team is there to do what they do best; so that you can concentrate your efforts being an expert in your field and keeping your company growing and up-to-date. At home the team should provide you with more time for family, self-care and maybe even half an hour for that book that you are dying to read!

You may reprint this article in your own E-zine or Web Site. Please send an email to Editor@TimeFindersCoaching.net requesting permission. Articles must be reprinted with the following information box at the end.

Written by Jill Crossland, Life Coach. Jill's company TimeFinders Coaching specializes in working with and for women. To learn more about Jill's services, her company and to read her online coaching magazine for women visit: http://www.TimeFindersCoaching.net.

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009.
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