Behind closed doors: How coaching works

"So lie down on the couch and tell me everything". The old therapy stereotype couldn't be further from the truth. For one thing coaching is very here and now; it is a tool to help the client analyze and solve a current challenge. Coaches usually practice in one of the three key areas - life, business or career. Some specialize in specific services around weight, spirituality, relationship or mentor coaching. So first do the research - use the internet, phone directories, talk to friends and colleagues or contact another coach and ask if they can recommend someone in the field that you are looking for.

Narrow your list down to about three or four names. Most coaches offer a free initial 30 minute session; it is a chance to get to know one another, to see if you want to work together. And no, this isn't an opportunity to try and get as much free help as you can. The coach will ask you what you need or expect from the coaching sessions and you can ask about their background and how they think that they can help you.

From there some coaches offer pay as you go sessions while others like the client to sign-up for packages. Be cautious and don't feel pressured to take on more of a financial and time burden than you are comfortable with. Never forget that you are hiring them and in control. For career and business coaching the coach should be able to tell you how many sessions you need. As for life coaching each client's challenge, goal or transition is unique so timing might have to be a bit flexible. It is also in the area of life coaching that some clients feel awkward and nervous. RELAX..... it's relatively painless. Does life coaching go into the realm of the past? Yes, sometimes. In my experience it is usually a few sessions in and comes about naturally. It is the client who says 'I remember .... " or "Maybe this comes from my ....". They are ready to pull the pieces together.

For midlife coaching I always tell my clients that as we explore what you want from the next half of your life the answers will lie in "Where you have been, where you are now and where you want to go". I find that at a certain point along this coaching path a client will often say "I wanted to be a _________ when I was younger." (By the way, growing up I wanted to be an actress. So watch out Susan Sarandon I may decide to have a career change).

Coaching is done by phone or in office; some of us even have a few coffee shop clients. New clients maybe uncertain about phone coaching. It is actually very convenient, easy on the schedule with no commuting and does allow for a relationship to build. Turn off all distractions, prepare your favourite beverage; grab paper & pen and sit in a comfortable chair, it's that easy. If you think of questions between sessions write them down. The session usually starts with the coaching asking you how things have gone since you last talked and there may be an assignment to be discussed.

In between your consultations email support is usually offered, especially important for business coaching when the goal is a work in progress and communication is vital. I also email session notes after each consultation and provide resources if needed.

A few points worth noting about coaching:

• Whether you are revealing business problems or personal details everything you say is confidential.
• After most sessions you will feel energized and positive but occasionally a session can be a bit draining that usually occurs when something is about to break through.
• The coach is not there to provide the answers but to support and guide you on your journey. Even with business or career coaching the two of you will discuss the options but the final decisions are yours.
• I cannot speak for all coaches but certain ones myself included do take on a percentage of pro bono work and will also adjust fees to income scale. Don't be embarrassed about discussing finances.
• Follow your instincts, if you feel intimidated or uncomfortable it is time to change coaches.

So why hire a coach? The simplified answer is that it is a new, fresh & trained perspective for an issue, goal or problem. If you are stuck, finding the advice of others more annoying than helpful and you really want help to move forward, then it time to hire a coach.

Well, I hope that has helped to unravel some of the mystery around coaching. All I want to add is that this was my overview of coaching and a little bit about how I coach. Every coach is different so take the time to get to know them before making your decision.