Varanasi, India: The City of Living & Dying

by Ellen Besso

Excerpts by permission of Ellen Besso, the Midlife Maze Blog.

Please Note: While written with sensitively some of this excerpt does describe the ritual of the funeral pyres and may not be for all our readers - Editor

OCTOBER 19th

Our plane was an hour late leaving Delhi, so we were late arriving in Varanasi. Our driver was not thrilled. We drove through very poor areas near the airport. I noticed that the energy felt quite different here than Delhi. As the traffic built, the driver switched into an impatient, pushing, & yes, honking mode. Once in Varanasi the traffic seemed almost impassable, with hundreds of people walking & driving in cars, motorcycles & rickshaws. It turned out that it was the build-up for Dawali, the festival of good luck.

As we neared our destination at the riverside in the old city, the lanes our driver navigated grew narrower & narrower. Then finally we had to get out & walk as the cab was not allowed past a certain barrier which divided the old river section of the city from the rest. We were met by an employee of the Ganpati Guest House, wearing an orange shirt, which came in very handy as we followed him. He carried my medium sized suitcase on wheels on his shoulder, while Don carried his own bag. We had to walk quickly to keep up with the young man; by now it was dark (gets dark early, 6:30 or so). We crossed 2 very busy traffic circles after him; nobody stops, you just dodge between the motorcycles, rickshaws, cars & bicycles. In the excitement & overwhelm of the arrival, I don't think I realized how dangerous this was that first night, especially for westerners lacking in the street smarts!

The next morning at 7 we went out on our balcony & saw the Ganges for the first time. It was totally other-worldly...very peaceful with a few tourist boats rowing by...quite wide & curved with a wide sand spit on the opposite side & the town on the curve on our side. As I may have mentioned, Varanasi is the holy city for people of all religions & it is very auspicious to come there to visit, to ride on the river. Many people come there to die & live out there lives near temples with food donations.

The first morning we walked down many steps from our hotel, called a ghat, & went along the walkway by the water as far as the main street. The walkway has a series of ghats over perhaps a mile stretch. The burning ghat is where the bodies are cremated (Don went yesterday, I haven't been yet. The tourist public is isolated from the ceremony in a separate building now, it wasn't like that 30+ years ago when he was there. He heard a brief fundraising talk from an official, then made a substantial donation to a very old woman to fund wood supplies for poor people).

Tomorrow we will explore the maize of laneways more & stay away from the busy traffic-filled streets. Varanasi has been an important stop for both of us; I've wanted to visit it for over 30 years. It is a very spiritual place & brings the whole idea of life & death & mortality home to us.

OCTOBER 22ND Varanasi, Still

Varanasi is one of the oldest living cities on the earth. It has kept its religious roots since the 6th Century AD, by isolating politically. The original part of the city is the area near the Ganges where we're staying. The maize of narrow laneways, some with markets begins right next to the river. Each market area sells 2 or 3 types of things, e.g. jewellery, clothes & silks. We are now comfortable walking about in here now (the laneways range from about 12 feet down to 3 feet) & find it fairly easy to find our way out again (if you get lost you can always head for the river). We haven't bought anything here though, it's hot & close in here & it's just easier to keep moving (moving also helps us avoid being hassled, motorcycles & cow shit)!

Yesterday we took a boat ride on the Ganges at 5:30 am, the perfect time of day. Many tourists were also out: Indian, western, some Buddhists. There was a sign on the wall "Fortunate are the people who reside on the banks of the Ganga".

Later in the morning we went to the Burning Ghat, where bodies are cremated (there are over 300 ghats or steps down to the Ganges; some have fallen apart by now). Volunteers work here and the young man we spoke to explained a lot about the process as follows:

• there are 3 areas for burning bodies for rich, middle class & poor people
• ~200 kg. of wood is needed for each person; sandalwood for rich people & banyan for the rest
• cremation here means the soul goes immediately to Nirvana
• no one can cry at a cremation or the soul is held back
• children under 10; pregnant women & holy men do not need to be cremated
• the body is washed, then wrapped in coloured cloth: gold for old men; orange for old women; white for young men & red for young women
• volunteers go around the lanes regularly and bring sick old people to the hospices beside the ghat

It was profoundly moving to see the funeral pyres (really just small piles, not the high ones one sees in the literature; they're for the rich)…and to see the wrapped body of an old man on the fire. We are so isolated from death in our culture.

Afterwards I made a donation for wood for poor people. I gave the money to a woman who they think is 103 years old. I removed my hat, knelt in front of her and said my name and she blessed me by saying some words and patting my head several times. This woman worked with Mother Teresa in the past and currently still nurses the old who live out their lives in the 3 hospice houses beside the ghat.

As I describe this to you now, the feeling I had yesterday comes back to me strongly… emotional, almost a desire to cry, but not, an opening of my heart and throat chakras I believe.

I feel honoured to have been allowed in this holy of holiest place, to learn & to observe. We leave Varanasi, this city of living and dying early tomorrow afternoon. I felt I wanted to share yesterday's experience with you on my blog. Hopefully it will be helpful to you; writing about it is an important part of my process.

To read more about Ellen's remarkable journey visit her blog and click 'India'

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