Quick, Get Me a Stretcher!

by Crystal Eves

Quick, get a Stretcher not because you're going to faint at the price of gas (although it would understandable if you did) but because everyone needs a Stretcher to keep growing.

I'm not talking about a medical device here; a Stretcher, by my definition, is a friend who encourages you to grow (in a positive way) past your previous limits. This rules out the friend who wants you to join her 'date a prisoner' club but includes the friend who suggests you try salsa dancing after going out for Armenian food.

Do you have a Stretcher in your life? If you do, you probably know it. She's the friend who draws you into new social circles, the one who invites you to concerts by performers you've never even heard of before. Your Stretcher recommends books on topics you'd never investigate on your own. She gets you to experiment with clothes when you shop with her. This is the friend who tugs at the boundaries of your life, and you are a richer person for knowing her.

It's both wonderful and odd to know a Stretcher. It's wonderful because they open the world to you in ways you would never open it for yourself and it's odd because there is a strong urge to avoid them.

Why? Because these friends are the social equivalent of cod liver oil: good for you, but not always the easiest to take.

I have a number of Stretchers in my life and I can honestly say that I cancel on them more than I cancel on anyone else. That's because the Stretchers I've attracted are very good at prioritizing themselves and I am not. It is for this reason that I enjoy them, and it's for this same reason that it's so painful for me to make time for them.

But that's the way it is with Stretchers. They request of you what you have failed to request of yourself. They say, "I see you as beautiful. Why don't you? I think you are important. Why don't you treat yourself that way? I think your dreams are achievable. Why don't you chase them?"

When we see ourselves and the world through their eyes, we expand, whether we can actually meet them in that vision or not. For even if we don't have the courage to try on the slinky dress they suggest, or go on that African safari they're planning, there are still benefits. Merely being invited to see ourselves in a wider context, as a person with more options and possibilities, creates growth too. Trying on an action mentally may not be the whole journey, but it's a starting point.

So to all the ladies I have cancelled on: thank you for the role you are playing in my life. To the ones that have cancelled on me: I understand. You'll be there when you can.

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