Christmas Letters: Reading between the lines

by Kathy Buckworth

This article first appeared in Clubmom.com, December 2006

One of the most popular "love to hate 'em" Christmas traditions is the "Dear Friends" holiday letters which make their seemingly innocent way into our homes year after year. Receiving these "friendly fire" missiles (from everyone including your closest relative to a real estate agent you spoke to once), most often makes us feel that whatever great adventures and accomplishments we may have experienced in the last year, it just wasn't enough. Add in the fact that the kids are fighting over who gets to put the angel on the top of the tree, the shortbread is burning, and the dog has just chewed up the only four completed Christmas cards, and it's no wonder we approach our mailboxes with trepidation rather than expectation.

The tradition of sending these thinly disguised brag sheets is a relatively new one, perhaps spawned in a time when families are too busy with activities, lessons, sporting events and assorted home renovation projects, which prevent us from actually getting together in person. We must have something to show for our Herculean efforts made during the year, and this newsletter-cum-decree-of- accomplishments fits the bill quite nicely. Plus, with the latest computer equipment, printers, and pre-printed holiday stationary, the ever busy family can churn out hundreds of "personal" greetings with the push of one button.

There are staples which must be included in these letters: for example, each and every trip the family has taken. Extra points are scored for using the phrases "trip of a lifetime", "the children were enthralled", and "well-needed re-charging time". You will rarely read about how two-year-old Max pooed in the hotel bathtub and how the twins fought non-stop for 14 hours during an endless car trip.

Complaints are acceptable. "Oh, the $200,000 renovation is really taxing us. Thank goodness we can escape to our parents' home in Florida when we need to. If only Bobby weren't such a good hockey player, we wouldn't be spending all of our time trying to decide between the teams that are constantly fighting over him. Add in Joe's new responsibilities at work (they couldn't run the bank without him), and you can guess how busy we are!"

Perhaps we could all benefit with a little more honesty, which could have our own letter's recipients feeling not quite so unfairly inadequate. Something along the lines of:

Dear Friends:

It is hard to believe that only another year has passed, as we reflect on all of the exciting and often unbelievable events that have shaped our evolving lives and strengthened our character and family bonds. (The unfortunate lice incident took at least 10 years off my life and it seemed like an eternity before the little creatures finally left us alone.)

Jessie is doing very well at school, and is a treasure in the classroom. We know — and hope — she'll go far. (Alas, any positive attitude she has is still reserved for her teachers. We take solace in knowing her good grades will hopefully get her into a university in another province, and then we will look forward to her visits.) Little Max is doing well in senior kindergarten and is quickly learning valuable social skills, which will serve him well in years to come. He seems to have inherited the "look at me!" gene from his grandfather. We are looking forward to trying out the Empty Nest Syndrome with month long camps next year— just when the kitchen reno should be one tenth complete.

The kids continue to love and participate in expensive and time consuming sports (I am eternally optimistic that one day I will spend more time at the spa than in a frigid hockey arena!), though they appear to have inherited their Dad's complete lack of co-ordination. The hopes that any of them will have a professional sports career are slim. However, it gets them out of the house and away from the TV and GameCube.

We have both managed thus far to avoid the frequent and seemingly random lay-offs and downsizing actions at our jobs. We are still undecided as to whether this is a good thing given the size of some of our colleagues' severance packages and their vastly improved golf games.

With all of this going on, you'll be lucky to receive this letter before the New Year. Let's make a mutual promise to call next week with our date books in hand and finally get together.

I sincerely hope your year was just as fun as ours.

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